Friday, October 16, 2015

An Intentional Gift

We discussed King’s insight into a pride in our creativity, and I want to further expand on that.

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my creativity. I have always compared my gifts and talents with that of the next person, especially in high school where there really wasn't much weight put onto the arts, and where athletics took precedence (I was the kid who was picked last after the handicapped kid in P.E.—that actually happened). I wonder now where the encouragement was. Not just toward me, but toward the other students. Teachers never expressed a value in the arts. Sure, they did in a sense, but the moment a student told them that they were thinking of pursuing art or music in college or as a career, the room instantly felt chillier—I’ve watched it happen time after time. I never got that far. I never had that much faith in my talents, or maybe I didn’t have anyone to push me. In my mother’s eyes, I was always going to be a teacher. It usually went something like this: “You just don’t know it yet, Honey, but you’re going to be a teacher.” It’s funny, the other day, after discussing graduation plans, I told her (for the millionth time) that I WAS NOT going to be a teacher. For the first time, I think she really believed me.

I never believed in creativity, I guess. I still struggle with the fact that my major is some abstract, intangible idea of a profession. (“Oh, you’re a writing major? So, like, do you wanna teach?” I wanna punch you in the face, that’s what I wanna do.). I used to wish I was a nursing student or an architecture student or even an engineering student—something with a real job attached to it. It has come to my attention that maybe I think this way because I do not value my creativity. As I grow older, its becoming more and more clear to me that my gift of creativity is just as valuable as your gift of, say, grafting dead people for a living (no joke, one of my closest friends from high school grafts dead people’s bones and tissue, cleans them and packages them for “re-sale” and loves it…someone has to do it, I guess shudder). But without creativity, the world would stop spinning. We need creativity to think up new medical devices, to build new roadways and homes, to envision the future, and to rest the soul after we’ve saved the world.  

Maybe it was my self-doubt in my creativity, but maybe it was more-so the neigh-sayers. What about all these other ideas? Facebook, Google, Amazon…somewhere along the line, I can guarantee you that someone thought these ideas were stupid and useless, but thank God they weren’t ignored. What about Taylor Swift, for example? She got a lot of grief along the way for her work, but look at her now! She is on top of the world because she never quit or gave in to the neigh-sayers who thought she should be different.

I am reading a book on creativity called “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gilbert made a point that ideas (or creativity) come beckoning you to accept them and turn them into something tangible because they cannot do it on their own. Sometimes you’re too busy with life and dramas and obligations to notice them knocking. After an idea bugs you for long enough, and to no avail, it’ll move on to someone who will accept it and bring it to life.

I think what it comes down to is not giving a sh*t what other people think. Someone out there is going to try to hold you down and keep you mundane and boring just like them. Rise above. We were given the gift of creativity not by chance. We were given this gift because Someone out there decided that we can handle it—its if we choose to handle it that matters.

 ~Grace

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