Feelin' Good

This post has me all fired up. I've got Beyoncé bumpin', coffee steamin', and sweatpants and fuzzy socks-- I'm feeling good, and ready to write.

Something we've talked about in class is our reaction when peasant outsiders peers in fields like engineering and business say, "Oh, you're an English major? What are you going to do with that?"

A lot, actually.

I'm going to go out into the world and know how to assert myself, first of all, thanks to people like you doubting me, and thanks to professors who have encouraged me to carve out my own job opportunities for companies who don't know they need a good writer (hint: they DO). I'm going to assert myself because I'm confident in my communication skills. I'm confident that I can work well with others, thanks to lengthy class discussions, small group projects, and the fact that writing is not individual-- it takes an army, and you better believe my army is going to do good work. I'm also confident that I can write to fit any context, using any voice, on a variety of subjects; in a word, I can use rhetoric to the best of my ability. (I still don't know how to define rhetoric, but that's a different story.)

I'm confident that I know how to dig in deep to a topic, to explore it from different viewpoints and to engage in critical discussion on it. I'm confident in my ability to hold my own in a conversation, to speak up and assert my opinion when I believe it will benefit our group. I know how to ask questions to provoke discussion, and how to engage others in a group so that everyone is able to contribute to the best of their ability. I enjoy participating in analysis on all sorts of texts, from Romantic literature to rhetorical theory, both on paper and vocally, and I enjoy thinking through it, chewing on ideas for a long time.

Instead of asking "why?" or "what should I do?," I'm trying out "why not?" and "I'm trying this, what do you think?" I'm developing confidence in pushing the envelope, in exploring ideas that are interesting to me and challenge me and provide a different take on an idea, even if it's one that I'm not very familiar or comfortable with. I know, with the right tools and amount of time, I can fill a knowledge gap that exists. I know I can join the Burkean parlor and hold my own in the conversation. Not only that, I've already stepped inside, with some of the research I've been doing over the past couple of semesters. Move over guys, I'm coming in.

Using the skills I've learned in my English classes, I'm applying them to my other activities. I'm helping others with their writing by engaging in conversation with them and offering a different perspective and new ideas to push their writing to the best it can be. I'm communicating with survivors of sexual assault, engaging them in a wholly different sort of conversation, and doing research on how to use writing to help them. I'm learning how to talk about sexual assault to lots and lots and lots of people who just don't get it yet; I'm engaging in rhetorical discussion, y'all. I'm putting on events and communicating to the masses via online media to promote an organization that I believe in and want to show off in an engaging way.

And I'm building a pretty kick-ass resume while I'm at it, so, yeah, why don't you ask me again what I'm going to do with my major?

I'm going to study Communication and receive a Master's degree. I'm going to work in the healthcare industry, promoting connection between the healthcare provider, the patient, and the community, in creative and positive ways. Or, if I don't do that, I'll show up to a different company that I want to work with, armed with my resume, my smile, and my confidence, and prove to them how valuable I can be. I'm turning my passion for writing into a concrete form of providence for myself, and I'm maintaining my sanity in the workplace by doing what I love and getting paid for it.

What am I going to do? I'm going to succeed. I'm going to be happy.

Reflections of a Soon to be GRADUATE

Reflecting on the English major…DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTER…I learned many valuable lessons, but because I am so worn out on writing papers, I am going to list the awesomeness and the not-so-awesomeness instead of writing a lovely lengthy dissertation that I know all of you want to read... 

Awesomeness:

1)    Doug’s classes

2)    Michelle’s Digital Rhetorics and Multimodal Writing—my hands down favorite class within the major

3)    Rhetoric and Composition—because now I semi-know what rhetoric is

4)    The fact that a student can take up to 3 creative writing classes

5)    The required readings are usually pretty great (with the exception of Rick Bass’ All the Land to Hold Us…shudder*)

6)    Muffins and mimosas

7)    Mark Schlenz

8)    Kittens

9)    The availability of the English Department faculty

10) The fact that my spell check doesn’t think “awesomeness” is spelled incorrectly…

Not-so-awesomeness

1)    Poetry classes

2)    That one time I had to take a statistics class because I thought that becoming a business double major was a good idea. It wasn’t.

3)    Need a creative writing option

4)    The fact that I had to sell my spleen to get signed up for any of the creative writing classes (except for Bean’s creative poetry class…)

5)    I would have like more breadth of classes within the major. I felt like there weren’t very many required courses, so I had to waste away in music and religion classes to fill empty credits—DOWN WITH BUDDHIST TRADITIONS 203!

Suggested Awesomeness

1)    A class on how to research, specifically

2)    Naps

3)    More kittens

4)    A creative writing option, or more creative writing avenues within the major

~Grace

Research Is Fun

This blog is going to be a little shorter than the rest, as I have a research project I should be working on… :)

Research is the devil. I’ve never been good at it—but how do you get good at research, exactly, anyway? Somewhere between my AP English (which I took in part because I could opt out of speech class) classes in high school and my college writing 101 course, there was an assumption that research is something I am already proficient at. Last semester, in my Digital Rhetorics class with the lovely Michelle Miley, I was briefed on how to research a paper in less than five minutes. Those five minutes were so beneficial to me! What made that so crazy to me is the fact that it took until my senior year of college for someone to take those five minutes to explain how to conduct research. Crazy. Maybe that is why I have always gravitated toward creative writing (in part). That other writing stuff always terrified me. So here I stand, at the pinnacle of maturity (haha), choosing to write a research paper instead of a creative piece (something that I am much better and much happier doing). The decision to go with a research project was a big one considering how much more brain power and time it is taking; I just hope I benefit from this project. But even if this 30 pager is a flop, I think I’m going to win in the end.

So how am I researching? I’ll admit, my form of researching is unorthodox, but it seems to be working…ish. Basically, I read a ton of stuff, highlight a ton of stuff and type it all up under relevant categories and “brain blurb” if I can’t find a home for it just yet. So, stuff and things and typing is my method. That may sound chaotic, but honestly, I thrive in chaos. You should see my bedroom! When my life isn’t chaotic or stressful, I seem to invent chaos and stress. Don’t ask me why. I just know that it helps me stay driven. Anyway, my researching is a process that comes and goes. Sometimes I’m on a roll and read article after article, and sometimes I just don’t.

One of the snags I have come across in my researching thus far is the lack of information on my topic of Digital/Media Literacy Learning. Now, I’m not saying there isn’t much out there, as I am saying that there is a lot out there on the same topic…branches of the topic don’t extend out too far. So, I’ve read a lot about the same thing. I guess that’s good, though, if this is what I end up specializing in in the future—pioneering the way is always more fun! Another snag, but great learning opportunity, is that I have come to find that there are multiple names for media literacy, i.e. digital literacy, information literacy, to name a few. So that’s fun…

~Grace

Reader, reader...

After our discussion on Thursday, I've been thinking a lot about the Ideal Reader and the conversation we had regarding them. I've also been thinking a lot about the kind of work that I've been producing this year, and I'm wondering about the relationship between the two. Does the kind of work we produce change based on our audience?

Obviously, in a broad sense, yes. That question on its own could be discussed at length, and could be taken a myriad of ways. But, I'm thinking mostly in the sense of personal, creative work-- the stuff that's flowing from brain to page without a due date or assignment sheet accompanying it.

From what I can remember, my Ideal Reader(s) has always been my dad, who reads everything I write through rose-colored glasses and seems to think I'm going to land a book deal by the time I graduate. (Ha, good one, Dad.) For a while, it was nice to have that unconditional support, knowing that someone believed in the underdeveloped, immature work I was producing. But, as I've grown older and started writing more consistently across many genres, I'm realizing that he's my Ideal Reader for my finished work, the polished, final copy that I want him to read to reaffirm my pride in it. (Man, how selfish does that sound?) For the drafting process, the brainstorming and note taking and scribbling sessions, I think I look to my peers or mentors that also identify themselves as writers. I need someone to look at my writing with a critical eye and ask me questions that force me to explain, or to go back and reevaluate what I need to do to move forward.

That brings me to another question-- can we have multiple Ideal Readers, depending on the work we produce and the stage of the process we are in? I know that the people I turn to provide good insight no matter what genre I'm working in, but as far as the stage of the writing process, I tend to think of different people. Is that fair, though? Am I placing too much responsibility on my reader? Is their role simply to read, or to provide suggestions, or to provide their reactions-- three very different obligations to me as a writer?

I'm also fascinated by the fact that King's Ideal Reader is his wife, Tabby. I am intrigued by the fact that one's partner could be their IR-- would that closeness create conflict, or would it produce a healthy space for both critique and support, considering they are both novelists? I find it really endearing when he talks about wanting to make her laugh, and describing her laugh on that personal, familiar level-- I totally identify with that feeling, and I think it's the biggest success to make the people closest to you react the way you want them to. So, maybe it could work to have that kind of intimacy in your IR, but I don't think it would work for everyone.

I guess the broader implications of these questions is that I am ultimately writing for someone that isn't me, meaning that I want people to read my writing, meaning that I should be thinking more about potential audiences and publication outlets for my writing. That's exciting/terrifying! And while I don't agree with everything King wrote, I am grateful that this idea came up, because it's made me reevaluate my own writing in terms of audience.

An Intentional Gift

We discussed King’s insight into a pride in our creativity, and I want to further expand on that.

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my creativity. I have always compared my gifts and talents with that of the next person, especially in high school where there really wasn't much weight put onto the arts, and where athletics took precedence (I was the kid who was picked last after the handicapped kid in P.E.—that actually happened). I wonder now where the encouragement was. Not just toward me, but toward the other students. Teachers never expressed a value in the arts. Sure, they did in a sense, but the moment a student told them that they were thinking of pursuing art or music in college or as a career, the room instantly felt chillier—I’ve watched it happen time after time. I never got that far. I never had that much faith in my talents, or maybe I didn’t have anyone to push me. In my mother’s eyes, I was always going to be a teacher. It usually went something like this: “You just don’t know it yet, Honey, but you’re going to be a teacher.” It’s funny, the other day, after discussing graduation plans, I told her (for the millionth time) that I WAS NOT going to be a teacher. For the first time, I think she really believed me.

I never believed in creativity, I guess. I still struggle with the fact that my major is some abstract, intangible idea of a profession. (“Oh, you’re a writing major? So, like, do you wanna teach?” I wanna punch you in the face, that’s what I wanna do.). I used to wish I was a nursing student or an architecture student or even an engineering student—something with a real job attached to it. It has come to my attention that maybe I think this way because I do not value my creativity. As I grow older, its becoming more and more clear to me that my gift of creativity is just as valuable as your gift of, say, grafting dead people for a living (no joke, one of my closest friends from high school grafts dead people’s bones and tissue, cleans them and packages them for “re-sale” and loves it…someone has to do it, I guess shudder). But without creativity, the world would stop spinning. We need creativity to think up new medical devices, to build new roadways and homes, to envision the future, and to rest the soul after we’ve saved the world.  

Maybe it was my self-doubt in my creativity, but maybe it was more-so the neigh-sayers. What about all these other ideas? Facebook, Google, Amazon…somewhere along the line, I can guarantee you that someone thought these ideas were stupid and useless, but thank God they weren’t ignored. What about Taylor Swift, for example? She got a lot of grief along the way for her work, but look at her now! She is on top of the world because she never quit or gave in to the neigh-sayers who thought she should be different.

I am reading a book on creativity called “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gilbert made a point that ideas (or creativity) come beckoning you to accept them and turn them into something tangible because they cannot do it on their own. Sometimes you’re too busy with life and dramas and obligations to notice them knocking. After an idea bugs you for long enough, and to no avail, it’ll move on to someone who will accept it and bring it to life.

I think what it comes down to is not giving a sh*t what other people think. Someone out there is going to try to hold you down and keep you mundane and boring just like them. Rise above. We were given the gift of creativity not by chance. We were given this gift because Someone out there decided that we can handle it—its if we choose to handle it that matters.

 ~Grace