"One day a really old, raggedy Japanese guy watched me for a very long time..."
This story on page 45 leaves me a conflict in my head. One of two things happened when he asked her to marry him:
1) He put the note in her hat and then promptly walked away without hearing her answer, or
2) He puts the note in her hat and then stands there watching her read it at then looks her in the face and waits for her to answer him. What would you even say to this? I'm picturing stuttering and then watching his face kinda crumble. If he had the cojones to give her the note in the first place, he had to have at least sort of expected her to say "yes."
I'm not sure which story I prefer. The first option leaves me with this little man who just asked her to marry him and then walked away without even looking back. It appeals to my sarcastically romantic side...
"He wanted to know if I would marry him.
I don't know how he expected me to answer.
I never saw him again."
Any thoughts?
I don't usually comment on blogs directly, but this is a good question and hasn't had replies and so I thought I'd jump in. I think the key here is remembering that because she's in character, there's a buffer. He didn't ask "her," he asked the Bride. I would think that would be a lot different dynamic to the situation than if she didn't have 7 feet of white dress and facepaint to hide behind.
ReplyDeleteNot that that answers your question -- but it seems like an important dynamic.
-d
In middle school, I had a boy ask me out like this. He told me I had dropped a piece of paper on the ground, and when I leaned over to pick it up, he ran out of the class room. It read, "Will you go out with me? Signed, ?" I blushed beet red and freaked out, but I was thankful I had all night to think about it before I told him no the next day. I think the waiting must have killed him, though... As the receiver I wanted more time to react and process, but I think he, as the sender, wanted an immediate reaction (and I think had a reaction already in mind).
ReplyDeleteIt's one thing to throw something vulnerable out there, but it's another thing to stand there and wait for feedback, especially as writers. It's easy to write something in the internet world and forget about your audience/work without a direct and immediate response in mind, but it's so hard to meet someone face-to-face and watch their reaction for yourself. It's hard, but it's necessary. I'm glad you raised that question!